From an early the Baron (known for his fortitutde and capacity to chuck a large one out of his rusty sherifs badge) was talented beyond the comprehension of his peers.

Many likened him to a wiley badger dancing in a field of nettles, hence the tag in toilet cubicals ' The King of Badgers resides...'.

Pop Pop and Bang Bang, the people clapped, the howling monkeys flipped a lid and moody dogs of Woking barked bile till gone midnight. Such was his fame.

At the age of 2 whilst steering 2 zeplins like skateboards into the London fog, the like none had seen since albert turned into a pin cushion, an unfortunate incident with a nasal hair trimmer left him mentally bereft, past the reach of normal polite conversation.

To this day on a dreary morn you may still see him in the hazy gloom flying by on the horizon calling out for his lost trimmer, hair like the wind trailing behind.